Time to go deeper...

It is the common view that man is inherently good. I would probably be inclined to think otherwise. People also share the common view that if they are a good person they will go to heaven when they die. This isn't true either. People are sinful. The Bible says that 'The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?' (Jeremiah 17v9). Does this sound like this kind of heart would belong to someone that would get into Heaven?

God cannot allow sin or sinful people into Heaven as it is where He dwells and it is therefore holy. No amount of good you do will blot out the wickedness that dwells in your heart... So you might think that wicked is a strong word-it couldn't possibly be used to describe someone like you (or me). And to our human way of thinking, you are probably right...but isn't what God thinks of the matter far more important? And true?

How many lies do you have to tell to be a liar? Or how many times do you have to talk bad of someone behind their back to be a backstabber? How many times do you have to have to use the Lord's name in vain in order to be a blasphemer? Only once. Only once. And only once.

Ok, you might think that's pretty heavy. And taking it pretty far. But is that not the problem? We don't stop and think how God looks upon our sinfulness. Because He treats it very seriously.  God says in Romans 6v23 that 'the wages of sin is death.' That is the penalty. Because God cannot look upon sin, he cannot tolerate it, and he certainly cannot allow it in His presence. Every lie I have told (which have been countless), every time I have talked about someone behind their back (yes, loads) and every time I have ridiculed, disrespected and rebelled against God has been enough to condemn me to an eternity seperated from Him.

This is is the moment where I close my eyes and thank God that He had a plan. He had a way out. God sent Jesus. God is just and so when He says the penalty for sin is death, He means it. This doesn't just mean a physical death, it is a spiritual death, it is seperation from God when you die. God loved me (and you) so much that He was willing to send a substitute to take our place so we could be right with Him again. Jesus is the sacrifice. I don't know about you, but there are very few people I would be willing to die for. If I was asked to die for my husband who is the love of my life, then yeah, I probably would. If I was asked to die for my darling baby nephew who lights up my life, or my sister who is my best friend, then yeah, ok...If I was asked to die for someone who had repeatedly wronged me and persecuted me, then I don't think it wouldn't even be up for debate, I would just refuse.

'But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.' (Romans 5v8) Can you fully comprehend how much God loves you? Despite our complete disregard and rebellion against Him? Can you look at the cross and see the love in Christ's sacrifice? It was through His death that the penalty was paid. A preacher once described it like this- if you had a £10billion debt to pay and someone came along and offered to pay it in full, why wouldn't you let him pay it? What gratitude would you feel? Would that not change your life?

There is no amount of good works you can do, no amount of religious practices you can tick off your list that will give you right standing with God. It is so much simpler than that. All God requires of you is to accept His gift to you and allow it to transform you.  ^'For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God' (Ephesians 2v8) This is why I say I have grace, because I have accepted this free gift and my life has never been the same.

More than giving you right-standing before God, and an eternity in Heaven, God also wants to give you a life free from the bondage and penalty of sin. Although I still sin (all the time, because I'm human) God now looks upon me as righteous and forgiven because I have trusted in Jesus. What Grace! What utterly mind-blowing truely undeserved love.

If you are reading this and you haven't accepted Jesus, then I plead with you to search your heart this Easter. I challenge you to go deeper this Easter. Because eternity is on the line. God can show you a love like no other and give you a purpose that is everlasting. What do you have to lose? Apart from your eternity.

If you were the only person in the history of mankind that sinned, the only person who ever rebelled against God, he still would have sacrificed Jesus and have him bleed to death on a cross to save your soul. That is how much your mighty, powerful, holy creator God loves you.

Take a couple of minutes to watch this video (coz that's how long it lasts!) and please get in touch if you know you need to go deeper this Easter.

 http://youtu.be/dWgB8r_xhA0

A big noggin and a painful problem.

Well, today is nearly done and my eyes are that kind of way when they are dried in your sockets. However, I feel that I need to write because I have so many thoughts swirling about in my noggin'. For any people that know me well, they will know (or notice) that I have an abnormally large head. This can be pretty problematic for buying fashionable head-gear which is why I don't wear hats. I think it also contributes to the fact I have a pretty huge amount of thoughts dancing around my head.

And now-in an attempt to distract you from thinking about my large head- I think I'd find it helpful to put some of my thoughts to paper (or to screen since it's an online blog.) I was at neurology today for a consultation. It went ok- apart from the fact I received multiple pin pricks to my face and body to test if I could feel them...and in most places, I certainly could :(  Anyway, he is sending me for an MRI scan and a nerve conduction test. These will ultimately show if the problem with my pain lies in with my brain/nerves/spine. The neurologist thinks it will come back clear, and I'm pretty confident they will too, but I am pleased to be getting these tests done as it will at least rule out that area.

I have received a diagnosis from rhumatology of joint hypermobility syndrome. This means I have an abnormality with the collagen in my body, causing my connective tissues to be extremely loose. It can also affect connective tissues in other areas like your lungs and bowels. As a result, the other areas of my body have to work harder to maintain stability and strength. As you can imagine, this can cause a great deal of pain and exhaustion. I accept this diagnosis but since very little is known about this condition, I'm not really getting the amount of support or information I need.

I was referred to neurology a while back and thought I would still go because there is no harm in ruling other things out. I also have wee niggly feelings now and again that there could be something in addition to my hypermobility and so would like for my mind to be put at ease. I often convince myself that I am just a hypocondriac or foolish (and maybe I am), but then again, I feel like I owe it to myself to search out every possible avenue and leave no stone uncovered.

I have tried to reseach hypermobility syndrome on the internet since I have received very little info from medical professionals. This presents a problem because you have to be very discerning of validity of the material you read. Most articles and sites I have came across acknowledge that a major symptom of the syndrome is pain. But I have yet to find a site that would describe pain similar to my own. Most sites seem to imply that you can still lead a relatively normal life, work, dance, carry, deliver and raise children and exercise.

Either I'm a total woose, or the pain I experience is different to most experiences. I would probably argue the latter. I have been unable to work since last summer and my gentle physio exercises leave me in a lot of pain unlike the runners, dancers and athletes in these case studies who can still maintain an active lifestyle.

This condition has changed me an awful lot. And I am still struggling to get to grips with it, understand it, and gain control of it. I have the joy and privilege to hand this burden to God every day, and He is faithful in His provision. But of course, I desperately want, and need a way of intervention with the daily pain too. I believe God gives us doctors to help us with these things and I see nothing wrong with having hope that doctors will give me a solution to my physical struggle.

I also believe that God can remove this completely if He chooses- and I am most certainly believing and praying for that too. But one thing God does in times like these which no doctor can do, is heal and transform my heart and my soul. I often return home from appointments restless, and utterly deflated as it often provides no answers or hope of treatment. Doctors tell us there is nothing they can do and we are left to our own thoughts at home. But God is there when I get home and can still my restless heart. God can see every pang of anxiety, and speak into every area of doubt.

We often forget the devastating toll a chronic illness can have on people emotionally as well as physically. I'm trusting God will use the doctors to deal with the physical illness. And God can take care of my heart.

Me on the left...this was the last time I wore a hat before my head expanded due to being crammed with thoughts...