You're not worth it either.

 I remember promising myself that I wouldn't become one of those mums who constantly posted pictures and updates about their kids; that resolution was blown to pieces within the first 24 hours of Oskar being born. Most people are sweet about it and say they enjoy seeing what he's up to, but I know some people probably find it irritating. But that's ok- I still think he's pretty awesome. For me, it's photos of food that cause me to scroll through my newsfeed with mild contempt- usually because it makes my bowl of cheesy pasta look pretty lame.

However, the king of all loathed posts has to be the quote posts. Perhaps it's the derisive cynic in me, but I find these posts more cringe worthy than inspirational. What's worse is that these quotes are being churned out as cliche wall stickers for the home or being accompanied by a picture of a minion- but that is a whole other issue. 

On the most part, these kind of posts just cause me to roll my eyes and snigger- and I do apologise to anyone who genuinely gleans warm fuzzies from this kind of stuff. Every now and then however, I find myself pausing as I scroll through the social media...and I feel disturbed. I am noticing that people are posting quotes that seem poetic or philisophical, but are in fact condeming, passive aggressive, and damaging. And it grieves me.

Since when do we decide if someone's worth it? And by what standards do we meausure the worth of another? By what we get in return? By how much someone indulges our selfish bent and appreciates how much we deserve to be adored? How disgustingly self absorbed!

Do we really believe that people are only 'worth it' when they recognise how much we're 'worth it'?

It's actually paradoxical; a subtle, deadly poison seeping into our hearts shaping the way we regard and treat others. Because someone doesn't reply to our texts, lets us down, speaks poorly about us, they are not worth knowing? No forgiveness, reconciliation or perspective?

And what about people who actually have nothing to offer? Who are passing through a dark season of life and are low on emotional and relational resources? Who have limited mirth, or wisdom or time to offer? You and I have been that person before. And to my complete shame, I have been the person to shun also.

Where would I be if my God regarded me in this same way? I would be without a saviour. What if he decided I wasn't worth it? I wouldn't have a redeeming cross to cling to. And neither would you. Is my sinful soul deserving of eternal life and glory? Are my selfish actions, critical and condeming attitude and damaging words worthy of receiving grace and abundant blessing from my creator? Yeah, didn't think so. And yet despite all this, Jesus showed I was worth it. And He died on a cross so I could receive it. 

How can I not then extend this same grace to others? Offer frienships and kindness to people regardless of my gain. Yes, some efforts may go unrequited much like our relationship with Christ- and yet His goodness is abundant and his love is relentless. I grow wearisome, impatient and burdensome and yet God has never rejected me. I have nothing to offer him; no way of repaying Him and He accepted me anyway. My sentiment could be regarded as somewhat naive, and yet it is what christ calls us to do- 'love your neighbour as yourself.' Mark 12v31.

6 years...

This weekend marks another year of Harvest Bible Chapel Glasgow- 6 to be exact. Most people know how I feel about this place I call home and the people contained within it. But my affections for my church trancend a mere sentimental fondness, but recognise it as the place where my relationship with God grew more intimate than I ever knew was possible; and with every passing year I am delving deeper.

My time at Harvest hasn't been some saccharine experience where I have been reassured that God wants to make all my dreams come true and bend to my every whim for the sake of my own comfort. What I have encountered is something way more profound; discovering exactly who God is and who I am in light of this. I am actually very small, weak and quite frankly hopeless. This is what I hear most Sundays. 

In a culture where self is exalted and we are encouraged to be driven by hedonism, this message can leave most people with a sour taste- even some Christians. But through the teaching and ministering of others at Harvest I have learned that Jesus didn't come to give hugs and guarantees of a life free of hardship. After all, people can't endure the burdens of life by clinging to warm fuzzies.
It's only through having a right view of Jesus we can live a life of right perspective. Whether I have been dealing with personal sorrow, doubt, conflict, descisions or sin, I have been constantly reminded by my brothers and sisters in Harvest that God is sovreign, faithful, holy and just. These aren't things that are dependant on my state of mind or relative to my perception of a situation, these are things I can cling to; these things are tangible.
Without the discerning teaching and loving disciplship of my church family, I would still be left believing that I am the hero, that I am right, and that God is just an additional to my aresnal. But God is my ordnance for every circumstance.
So I'm thankful for Harvest. It is a place where Christ is elevated and the people stand firm on His word. It is a place where it is far more important to lovingly hold one another accountable than to leave eachother to advance on a trajectory which will inevitably lead to self destruct. There is courage of conviction and an integrty which is humble and sincere. My soul is simultaneously pacified and ignited every time I abide here and know i can entrust my soul to its care for years to come; confident that I will be continually sanctified for a life that serves my saviour and one day, dwell in eternity with Him.